Copyright 2001 --- Robert Baer Jr The Dixiecats -- "Inspector Zima" DISCLAIMER Road Rovers characters, names, situations and the Road Rovers universe are the property of Warner Bros. I, nor this script/story are connected with Warner Bros. in any way, shape or form. This document may not be publicized or reproduced in any way, shape or form. It must remain fully intact and may not be altered in anyway. It is strictly used for not-for-profit entertainment purposes only, and is not intended to infringe on any Copyrights. This story is written by Robert Baer Jr and the characters Amos Doggie, Hannah, Porthos, Felicia, Katrina, Patch, Thomas, Princess and the Gila Monster are the creations of Robert Baer Jr, copyright 1997-2000. Catman is a creation of John Butler. The Dixiecats -- "Inspector Zima" The scene is a major city two hundred years in the future. It is a glittering city with many tall building and flying cars. In the center of this city is the Earth Defense Forces Building, all of Earth's 'police' and defensive military units are governed here. Inside, many officers in blue jumpsuit style uniforms are walking the corridors of the building. In the office of Deputy Commissioner Fred Perkins, two lupo-sapiens discuss a matter of concern with him. LUPO 1 (angry): And that's the story, Deputy Commissioner. Once more, Inspector Zima's bumbling has cost this department millions of dollars! PERKINS (nods): I see, although she did catch the suspect, the subsequent thirty car pileup she caused is not acceptable. LUPO 2 (sadly); Sir, we tried everything, even assigning her an desk job, and she always manages to mess things up. PERKINS (nods): You don't understand the position I'm in. If I fire her, the other Lupo-sapiens in the department may quit! And in spite of all the damage she causes, she has the top arrest record in the force! If we keep her, it's like having a bull in a china shop (coughs) Excuse me, I need something to drink (pushes button): Send in some coffee please! In walks a shapely female lupo-sapien holding a coffee pot and several mugs. This is Inspector Zima. ZIMA (sets cups down); Inspector Zima reporting for coffee duty, SIR! PERKINS (rolls eyes): Proceed... Zima pours the first cup and hands it to one of the Lupos. She pours the second one, gets nervous and spills it on the second one. Seeing this, Perkins grabs the last mug and pours himself some coffee. ZIMA (sad eyes): Oh sir, may I PLEASE have a field assignment again? I feel like I'm wasting my fine talents behind a desk. PERKINS (angry): Inspector Zima, you, in the period of one month, have managed to wreck twenty squad cars, four front porches, two construction sites, a convenience store and ... my own backyard pool! Not to mention the various other wrecks and damage that your crazy brand of driving has caused! You're not safe to be around humans or anyone for that matter (sips the coffee, spits it out): YUCK!!! You can't even make a decent cup of coffee! Well, what have you do say for yourself? ZIMA (smiles): Now, besides all that, why can't I have a field assignment? The Deputy Commissioner and the two lupo-sapien officers look stunned at Zima's latest pronouncement. LUPO 1 (whispers): Is she for real? LUPO 2 (whispers): Yes, I've dated her before, great bod, but nothing in between her ears... PERKINS (angry): GET BACK TO YOUR DESK NOW!!! ZIMA (salutes): Yes sir! As Inspector Zima salutes, she accidently dumps the rest of the hot coffee into Perkin's lap. He screams for pain as Zima is shutting the door. PERKINS (furious): WE HAVE TO GET RID OF HER!!! IF I CAN'T FIRE HER.... LUPO 1 (interrupting): Why not just make her disappear? PERKINS (happy): Yes! Yes! Do you have a plan? LUPO 1 (nods): Listen carefully.... The scene is now in the parking lot at the end of Zima's shift. The two Lupo-sapiens stand waiting for Inspector Zima to emerge. She does, carrying her huge purse with her. LUPO 1 (points): Inspector Zima, there's a phone call for you, take it in that phone booth over there! ZIMA (happy): Why thank you, sir! As she rushes over to it, the second Lupo turns to the first. LUPO 2 (laughs): She's so dumb! Phone booths were done away with a century ago! LUPO 1 (hushed tone): Quiet, it's all set. When she lifts the receiver.... LUPO 2 (nods): The minature time machine will send her hundreds of years into the future! LUPO 1 (nods): Where she can't screw up history or bother the force ever again! ZIMA (inside the booth): Oh dear! I forgot how these silly phone booths work! I'll just press some buttons until I get a help mode or something. Zima aimlessly begins pushing nearly every button on the front panel, not realizing that she's reseting the time machine to go backward in time. When she finally picks up the receiver, the 'booth' disappears in a bright flash of light. When the booth reappears, it is in present day Louisianna, in the swamp area near Amos Doggie's territory. ZIMA (shouting into the reciever): HELLO???? HELLO????? (giggles): Guess it wasn't important, oh well, time to go home to my apartment and (opens door): HOLY WALLS OF JERICHO!!! WHERE THE HECK AM I???? As she steps out of the booth, her boots start to sink into the mire. Thinking quickly, she reaches for a 'instant rope' out of her purse, tosses it up to a tree limb, and pulls herself up. She looks very frightened as she watches the 'phone booth' being pulled down into the quicksand-like mire. ZIMA (scared); Oh dear! I don't know where I am but I know one thing for sure, this isn't New Baton Rouge anymore. As the Inspector sadly looks all around, she sees a group of people moving in her direction. Still frightened, she stays hidden up in the tree as Porthos, Thomas, Patch, Amos Doggie, Goldfire Wolf and Hannah walk by. Bringing up the rear of the group are Felicia, Katrina and Catman, each girl holding one of Catman's hands as they walk together. AMOS (points); Now, dis be dee best part of me swamp! PORTHOS (smiles); Why's that, Amos? AMOS (points upward); Lookie lookie! In dees trees be me snake and water moccassin friends! GOLDFIRE (confused); These snakes are your friends? AMOS (happy): Sure day be! Dee birds, squirrels, gators, day be all me friends! HANNAH (nods): Never a dull moment in this swamp! FELICIA (scared); Snakes??? KATRINA (scared): I don't like snakes! Felicia and Katrina now hug Catman even tighter CATMAN (struggles): Ladies.... I have.... to .... breathe.... y'know... AMOS (happy): I call me snake friends! I show you.... HANNAH (shakes head); Dear, let's not do that. Besides, we have dinner waiting for us back at the house! PATCH (happy); I'm all for that! THOMAS (happy); Me too! As Inspector Zima watches from above, two small snakes slither on the limb she is sitting on. They are crawling up her leg when she finally notices them. She lets out a loud scream, faints, failing from the limb. Goldfire, standing directly under her, holds up his arms and catches the wayward wolf-sapien. PORTHOS (shocked); Where'd she come from? HANNAH (shocked): Look at her uniform, it's not like any I've ever seen! AMOS (looks up): Bad! Bad! LeRoy and Sisera scare dis poor woman! FELICIA (confused); LeRoy? KATRINA (confused): Sisera? FELICIA (sternly); Honestly, how can you tell one black snake from another? AMOS (smiles): Amos can tell! Amos know his friends when he see dem, yes? GOLDFIRE (still holding Zima); What do I do with her? HANNAH (sternly); We better take her back to the house. When she wakes up, hopefully she can tell all of us where she came from... The scene shifts to Amos & Hannah's house, a half hour later. As Inspector Zima wakes up, Otto and Samantha Maddog arrive with a loud BOOM!!!!! HANNAH (turns to them): I'm glad you came! This young lady just appeared in our swamp. OTTO (sternly): Scanning... unique uniform, she is a greywolf by breed. Unable to comprehend many of the objects in her handbag... ZIMA (opening eyes): Where.... where am I? (sees Otto): Otto Six? How did you get here? OTTO (surprised): Young lady, I am not Otto Six.... I am simply called Otto ZIMA (looks around): Who are you people... (sees Amos and Hannah) wait!! I remember you two from my history discs! You're Amos Doggie and Hannah! AMOS (smiles): You know us, yes? SAMANTHA (confused); History discs? ZIMA (laughing): Now I get it! This is another holographic program! Must be a late 20th century dating! (shouts): COMPUTER! DISCONTINUE PROGRAM!!! END PROGRAM!!! (looks around): Must be malfunctioning.. AMOS (looks at Hannah): Dis lady be not from here, yes? HANNAH (sternly): I'll bet she's not from this time! OTTO (nods): Hypothesis confirmed. Miss, what year is this? ZIMA (laughing): Why it's the year 2283, everyone knows that! PORTHOS (calmly): We don't know how to tell you this, miss, but the year here is the year 2001. ZIMA (shocked): WHAT???? 2001???? HOW DID I GET HERE????? THOMAS (calmly): We were hoping you could tell us. CATMAN (closes eyes): Her name is Inspector Zima, and she's telling the truth, she doesn't know how she arrived in this time... ZIMA (surprised): How? How did you know... wait... you're Catman! I remember you from that disc on Road Rover History. OTTO (sternly); I believe we had better take you to Road Rover Headquarters. The Master will want to meet you.. ZIMA (stands up); THE MASTER!!! You mean Dr Shephard himself? WOW!!!! OTTO (smiles): Shall we go? CATMAN (nods): Let's all go! FELICIA (happy); GREAT IDEA!!! KATRINA (happy); You always have great ideas, Catman! AMOS (nods); Amos want to go also! While the group discuss the matter, Inspector Zima glances over and gets her first look at Goldfire. Goldfire is smiling, he extends his hand and she holds it and stands up. SAMANTHA (calmly): Alright, it's all settled! We're all going! GOLDFIRE (smiling); My name is Goldfire. ZIMA (smiling); I'm Zima... Immediately, the entire group is teleported to the briefing room, where Otto explains Zima's entire story to the Master. MASTER (calmly): Inspector Zima, I understand you are from the future. At present, we have no means to send you back to your own time. Would you consider staying here with us as a Road Rover agent? ZIMA (nods): Well, I am a trained law enforcement officer, and if I can't go back to the twenty third century, I may as well be a Road Rover! MASTER (smiles); Excellent! THOMAS (happy): Let's celebrate! Catman passes out soda and snacks, he hands a can of soda to Zima, who opens it and watches as it shoots soda all over the Master. ZIMA (shocked); Oh dear! MASTER (happy): That's alright, Zima! Otto was able to download your personnel file from your ID card. You have quite a record, both as a law enforcement officer, and as a klutz.... ZIMA (sadly); Yes sir... GOLDFIRE (puts arm around shoulder): But we love you anyway! ZIMA (excited): Really? SAMANTHA (nods): Of course, Miss Zima, ma'am! As the group celebrates, Blitz enters the room and spots Zima and rushes over to her. BLITZ (excited): OH BABY BABY!!! Vhat's your name, pretty wolf girl? ZIMA (turns around): The name's Zima... As she turns towards Blitz, she accidently bumps Blitz's elbow, which causes the hot coffee he is holding to spill on his shirt. BLITZ (screaming): YYYYYEEEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! ZIMA (sadly): Oh no, I did it again! CATMAN (giggles): Don't worry about it, I think this time you did good! All of the Rovers laugh together, except for Blitz. Zima and Goldfire share a quick kiss. ZIMA (smiles): I think I'm going to like this century..... ------------------------------------------------